I love polenta. Have you ever had polenta? If you make it just right it's positively heavenly. I have only made it 3 times in my life which is odd considering that I love to cook and cook often. However, seeing as Robb has decided he doesn't like it, I save it for those rare occasions when I eat without Robb. So many tasty treats go scarcely made in my household because of a man with no taste. Jab. Anyhow, the first time I cooked this delicious cornmeal mush it was perfect. I sauteed a bit of turkey burger seasoned with garlic, onions and salt. Then I boiled the polenta and when done I added mozzarella cheese and butter. Then I feasted and feasted.
The second time I made polenta I got a bit, well, arrogant and assumed that I remembered how to make the polenta. Well, for those of you that cook it you know that there are precise, easy though precise, directions that simply must be followed. For instance, rather than waiting for the water to boil I dumped in the cornmeal instantly. Then to my everlasting shame I used a nylon whisk in place of a wooden spoon. The polenta simply would not tolerate my missteps and decided to remain grainy and soupy. In a feeble attempt to thicken this cornmeal soup I added a whole bag of cheese and garlic powder. I had not added so much cheese the last time and the only garlic that had gone in the dish was in the turkey burger. It was still soupy and now stingingly garlicky. Shameful. It was barely (which truly means "not at all") edible.
Last night after I came home from a lovely visit with Liza and Bella (and some darn good pizza), I realized that I had left the turkey burger out to thaw so I had to cook it or it would go to waste. I figured if I did it right this time I could have it all week for lunch at work. I carefully read the instructions (instantly realizing how I ended up on the wrong path previously) and proceeded to make some darn good polenta. I sauteed the turkey burger and got the entire dish just right. As I had already eaten dinner I only sampled the goods before spreading it into a cake pan to allow it to cool before putting it into individual servings for lunch.
Feeling as though I had really accomplished something, I turned to Lainie and yelled "Yeah for Mommy". She in turn clapped for me. Lovely applause. It was time for her bath. I left this perfect dish on the counter and took Lainie into the bathroom for her bath. Suddenly, there was a great commotion. I ran out of the bathroom, Lainie on hip (in case you thought I actually left her unattended in a bathtub), and came to the kitchen to discover that Tank, my precious (I'm straining very hard to use that word right now considering I just ate a Meijer brand frozen entree of Swedish meatballs that the crappy microwave here in the office burnt) 85 pound dog, devoured my beautiful dish. Now, you may be saying, "Fool, why on earth did you leave it out for him?" Answer: "Because he never does that!" Only one time has he stood at the counter to eat something and it was a hot dog (which are irresistible to him like a moth to a flame).
So, my beautiful polenta which was perfectly made was devoured by a creature who finds HOT DOGS to be divine eating! Do you think he even chewed before swallowing or savored one ounce of the perfection of the polenta? Not a chance.
I've tried desperately to come up with a clever "Lesson Learned", but there isn't one. Just don't leave polenta for the dog. Boo!
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