So, here it is. I originally created this blog to be for losing weight. You know, losing weight little bits at a time. ~tee hee~ I crack myself up sometimes. Anyhoo, I've gotten on and off the "diet" roller coaster several times since starting this blog. And now, the time is once again upon me to resume my weight losing efforts. I'm actually at a quite wonderful place in my life now. I've efficiently licked my wounds from past hurts and the stress has delved down to a minimum. I'm off to quite the amazing start. I lost about 250 pounds on November 15, 2010. =) heh heh Did you catch that one? As in a whole person? heh heh Trust me when I say that by the time November 15th rolled around I was quite ready to part with that, uh, weight. So, like I said, I'm off to a great start. I have absolutely no reason not to get my head in the game.
But that's where it's the most difficult for me, yet the most important place to start- the head. I don't know if it's true for men as it is for women. But if a woman's head isn't in it, it ain't gonna happen. Whether you're talking about "baby-making" activities or losing weight, you've got to be committed to it in your mind or else you don't have the motivation to get turned on. To a diet, people! Minds out of the gutter. It is in this one area that I have failed miserably time and time again. It doesn't help to grow up being told that the standard is to be "skinny minnie" and "anorexic thin". So, at an early age I had a total misconception of my body. Boy, what I wouldn't give to go back and tell my high school self, "honey, you are perfect the way you are." C'est la vie. We all have baggage hanging around that keeps us from totally committing to things that could and would better us. I am great at committing for a time, in the moment, when I'm all jazzed up to lose weight. Give me about 3 weeks and I'm right back to the place of being uncontented. *sigh*
I have a million and one reasons to lose weight, none quite as important as my baby girl. But isn't it amazing that sometimes, even the biggest motivator still isn't enough in those stressful moments when chocolate sings out to us, "I'll be there for you when the rain starts to fall..." (Friends theme song) And chocolate is such a good friend, he always sticks around- on your thighs! I have a little post-it note stuck to my computer at work that says, "If hunger isn't the problem, then eating isn't the solution." I think that's a great saying for someone like me. But how many times have I engulfed a chocolate bar sitting right in front of that note? Too many to count. It's all about getting your head in the game. It's all about making up your mind to commit.
I am at the heaviest weight I've ever been. Yep. I'm just putting it right out there. But I am. I've been telling myself I have to get a handle on things and get my head in the game and start losing weight. I need to. For me. For my baby girl. For life. My co-worker decided she wanted to start attending Weight Watcher meetings and she asked me if I'd go along so she didn't have to go alone. I'm a pro at the meetings. I've been countless times. I've just stopped when I shouldn't have. So, today I attended my first meeting in a couple of years. It's a new program and I've been avoiding it. No longer.
So this week, I'm committing to just getting started. Just doing it. Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. And sometimes, second by bloody second! I'm already ahead of the game. I'm not even wearing maternity pants this go 'round! hehehe
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